Day 26 — Goals and Dreams

Today I was thinking about ambition. To me, it means having a growth mindset—the desire to handle tomorrow a little better than today. When I was younger, that scale often tipped too far into shame and despair. Now, I try not to linger there. I’m learning to see mistakes as opportunities to understand something new.

I also thought about the people who appear very put together online. Fancy cars, expensive handbags, a chihuahua and so on. I am not that kind of person. Most days I wear a mix of colourful second-hand clothes, and there is probably a stain on my shirt from pasta I spilled at dinner.

Despite all the time that has passed, I feel, in my being, much the same as when I was sixteen. But now I am thirty, and the question of what I want is becoming louder. This is the time to get serious about my direction. So I imagine different scenarios: Where do I want to live? What kind of home do I want? What about work?

Time is our most precious resource. There is no turning it back, no second chances, and none of us know how long we have. I want to be good at my profession—diligent and devoted—but not consumed by it. So how can I create circumstances that allow me to contribute while also feeling well cared for and grounded?

Taking steps toward long-term change is daunting. I often feel behind. But I can do a little at a time, and I am learning to trust that these small shifts will accumulate—that they will come together into something whole.

I would honestly prefer a tiny home and being debt-free. To only take on as much as I can carry. It may not be glamorous, but waking up without anxiety is worth more to me than any sports car.

I want to trust that I will be okay, even if I need to take a break or change direction. It is easy for me to say—I don’t have children—but I also believe that if you don’t make these decisions consciously, society will make them for you. Advertising is designed to make us feel inferior, to keep us spending on things we never needed in the first place. It’s tempting to want to be like the woman in the ad who looks so effortless and happy.

Maybe that’s part of the illusion. You won’t feel blissed out all the time. But you might find peace and contentment in the everyday. Those are very different emotions.

Imagine not needing to dissociate to get through the day. Noticing how your breath can regulate your emotions, or how a warm drink feels in your hands.

That kind of peace is difficult to show or measure, but it deeply shapes our experience of being alive.

What are your dreams and goals? Do you consider yourself ambitious? I’d be curious to hear your thoughts.

I hope you are well, wherever you are.
Celine