Day 31 — Language Matters
We all experience the world from within our bodies and through our senses. In a way, we are alone on the inside, looking out. To bridge that gap, we created language. But even something as simple as describing a colour raises questions—when I say something is orange, how do I know you see the same thing? It can feel like a philosophical game, but when it comes to our struggles, not feeling understood can be devastating.
As much as I tried to explain what I was feeling when I was younger, I was often dismissed as just too sensitive. “Grow a thicker skin and get on with it.” But that never changed. My brain stayed the same, and in order to feel some sense of control and safety, I became an expert people pleaser. I made everyone else’s problems my own. If I was useful, at least I’d be needed. That pattern left me more drained and resentful than when I started. I would come home and crash from emotional exhaustion.
Since learning more about my sensitivity—and later about neurodivergence—I’ve slowly started to give myself more grace. I’m not as selfless as I used to be, and the relationships I do keep are blossoming. It is easier to trust someone who says what they think.
What has made the biggest difference is having better language for what’s going on inside me. Not just “I’m tired” or “I’m sad,” but “I’m overwhelmed” or “I’m overstimulated.” I can now warn people about the kinds of situations that might push me into shutdown.
We make a kind of emergency plan together. With the people closest to me, sometimes all it takes is a look or a word, and they step in and take charge of the situation. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
This kind of communication has built trust both ways. I can hear that someone needs space without taking it personally, and I can make decisions for my own path that once felt too selfish or too scary.
I know that figuring out what’s going on inside you isn’t easy. It has taken me a long time, and I’m still learning. But it’s worth it. Things can get better when we find the words for our experience and allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
I hope you are well wherever you are,
Celine
